By this time, respiration or perspiration are increased. Pause and drink coffee.
Repeat this exercise on all sections, adding a re-folding operation for each of them.
While seated, the newspapers will appear to be folded horizontally.
I have found in developing exercises that the re-folding operation is more difficult than the unfolding. Newsprint seems to be less flexible than in former days.
Dexterity is tested and increased by attempting to create the same neat appearance as was achieved by the folded paper lying beside the hall doorway. An attempt must be made to straighten out the unfolded sheets, preparing oneself for frustration as the pages become wrinkled and the center fold or crease locates itself in a remote place.
Rest. Drink more coffee. Animal-like sounds may be made and audible remarks exhibited during completion of this exercise.
The whole newspaper, exclusive of classified advertisements will then be patted, centered, and placed so as to resemble the original paper as delivered.
Repeat as desired. The more, the better.
I did not mention reading the paper. This is, of course, important, and may also increase heart rate and vocal expressions of opinion, both positive and negative. The exercises are physical and mental.
Considering that the above-described exercises are done twice daily, unless a paper remains from a previous delivery, one will experience either a loss of weight or temper.
The average human temper weighs three pounds. While scientists are in no agreement as to how much body weight is shed by this twice-daily routine, it is possible that something may be lost, somewhere.
I feel more muscular than ever. Life opens up.
Now, where is that fruitcake?
Posey, a retired Presbyterian (USA) minister, writes from his home in Charleston.