This is important stuff.
The Federal Register is the official law of the land, which every American is expected to know down to the last letter or else face a $100,000 fine — as Mr. Eldridge, the errant whale releaser, learned the hard way.
Without federal promulgators, unlicensed marine mammal rescue workers would be freeing whales.
Maureen Dowd outlined the danger in her column on Sunday in which she imagined what Washington will be like 71 years from now.
"The white marble monuments are now covered in ash, Greek tragedy ruins overrun with weeds," she wrote.
"Tea party zombies, thrilled with the dark destruction they have wreaked on the planet, continue to maraud around the Hill, eager to chomp on humanity some more."
But Dowd's fantasy is my horror.
If Washington is ruined it will be for lack of maintenance, not by Tea Party protesters.
The federal government spends more time promulgating than it does maintaining the national monuments that the people own.
Over the next 71 years, federal bureaucrats will add another 4 million pages of law to the Federal Register.
President Obama has shown what his priorities are and keeping the national parks open is not on that list.
By erecting barriers instead of negotiating, our president shows he has forgotten that he works for the people of the United States of America.
Dear Diary, the shutdown has given me time to consider a daring question: If I want to drink raw milk, what business is it of the federal government?
If I get sick, so what?
My body, my life, my choice, as they say.
Surber may be emailed at DonSur...@DailyMail.com.