Q: A while ago we finally had to put down our 14-year-old German Shorthair Pointer. This was a very hard decision for us.  His decline was very gradual, and although he was having a hard time getting around, with difficulty particularly in his hind legs, he didn't seem to be in any pain (but it is so hard to tell).

When we finally decided it was time and we took him to our vet, she indicated that it was probably past his time and perhaps we should have put him down sooner.  As I have talked to other pet owners, this seems to be a common and always very difficult decision. 

So the question is, how do you know when it is time to put down your pet? And why can't they just pass away in their sleep or from a heart attack rather than leaving this painful decision up to the owner?

A: Euthanasia is one of the hardest things that veterinarians do. I guess if it ever gets easy, then I should try another career.

Your question is poignant because it seems for the past two weeks, I have put more pets to sleep than I am used to doing. As veterinarians we commit to move heaven and earth to avoid animal suffering, but we can't do a darn thing to prevent their owners from suffering. That is hard to watch and be part of at times.

I believe in my heart that I am helping those animals, but at the same time I am breaking their owners' hearts. They forgot to tell us that part in vet school.

When counseling owners of a terminal pet, I try to give them very distinct criteria to help them make the decision to euthanize.

One thing I believe is important to do is to have an open discussion with all family members involved in the pet's life. They need to decide to agree on the decision and to support each other and the pet in order to get through this period.

After they all decide, then they should start evaluating their pet. I encourage them to list the things that their animal has always loved to do. Often this includes eating, going for car rides and walks, playing ball, laying in a certain spot at home, chasing and playing with other animals in the house, and barking at things they hear and see. This list often turns into a sort of definition of who their pet is and what endears him to his family.

After they make the list, it is time to start evaluating changes. This can include a loss of interest in food, sleeping more and being less involved with the family.

Sometimes overt signs of sickness such as vomiting, diarrhea or paralysis help to make the decision easier. It is clear the animal is sick. But when the animal doesn't appear to be sick - just tired and slow - the decision is more difficult.

The family should agree on a number of days to watch the animal's behavior before deciding that the time to euthanize is at hand.

I personally picked three days for my own pets. All animals can have a bad day or two, but after three days I think it is obvious that the pet can't go on. 

Every family needs to decide on their own. But the decision must be carried out after a certain number of days.

I encourage my owners to go through this process to help them know when the time is right to say goodbye. Pets don't come with an expiration date, and we don't have a magic crystal ball to tell us when to say goodbye. It is a difficult decision.

Some pets do pass away in their sleep peacefully at home, but for the ones that don't, owners have to be strong.  They have to prepare themselves and put their own feelings on hold to make the best decisions for their pets.

 If owners can go through this process, I believe that at the end, as sad as it will be, owners will be ready to let their old friend go. Then, in time, they can go back and visit the list they made,  a list of happier times with their pets. Those memories are the ones that will remain forever.