CHARLESTON, W.Va. - I wish I could say I was one of those dads to whom most Father's Day ads are directed.
While I appreciate fishing and could spend all day in a boat or on the shore staring at the water with a beverage and shooting the breeze with a couple of friends, a rod and reel or any other angler's gear would be wasted on me.
Golf? I've actually got a pretty good set of clubs handed down from my dad and a nice pair of Gore-Tex lined golf shoes. I've just fallen so far behind my peers from lack of practice, time, and, OK, desire, that I'd only embarrass myself and anger anyone playing behind me. The course ranger would probably have to escort me off for my own protection.
But the unkindest cut comes from circulars that suggest all manner of hardware and home improvement tools would be just the thing to make me a happy pappy.
It's unkind because I love gadgets and gear. I'm just not any good with these particular items.
I see my friends on Facebook or on actual social occasions where I am standing on the products of their labors.
Patio decks. Sunrooms. Man caves. (I think they used to be called "dens," which is where bears hang out, so I'm good with that.)
They're digging drainage ditches and mixing cement and creating purposeful-looking frames into which they'll pour it.
They're cutting tile and putting up drywall.
And me? Tasks like hanging wall clocks and replacing doorknobs are becoming increasingly difficult to accomplish.
Watching me put up shelving, you would think I were attempting to put a new door into the wall what with all the leveling, pencil marking and tape measuring going on.